Change
by E.J.2121
Summary: Raphael feels change on the horizon. His feelings, body, and brothers are maturing. When Donatello is kidnapped by Shredder, Raphael battles to save him, and with whether his feelings for Donnie are as brotherly as he'd once thought. (Turtlecest. RaphXDon MikeyXLeo)
1. Chapter 1

_**Change**_

_**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor anything affiliated.

_**Summary:**_ Raphael feels change on the horizon. His feelings, body, and brothers are maturing. When Donatello is kidnapped by Shredder, Raphael battles to save him, and with whether his feelings for Donnie are as brotherly as he'd once thought. (Turtlecest. RaphXDon MikeyXLeo)

_**Chapter 1**_

Raphael looked up to the sky as he felt the rain starting to fall. He scanned the clouds, and was certain more rain was to come. He didn't care. He actually liked the rain, though for whatever reason, his stubborn mind would never let him admit it. He looked from the rooftop, and gazed over the the city, watching for any sign of action, anything to slice through the complacency that had fallen over him lately. Things had been far too quiet for Raph, and he found himself feeling pent up, and paranoid.

He stayed out late on patrol, sometimes far after nightfall, and he was missing dinner increasingly.

He felt so many changes in himself. It was damn frustrating...

...and he had no one to talk to.

Master Splinter and Leo would only see it as weakness.

Mikey wouldn't be serious about it...

...and Donatello?

_Donnie_.

What the hell was he supposed to say to him?

Something about Donnie had always been different. Even when they were younger there was a certain favor toward him. He'd always felt like Donnie needed him...

Or did he need Donnie?

Lately these confusing feelings seemed to bother him more often. Of course, he was giving himself plenty of time to think. He was spending most of his day alone. His brothers didn't seem to question it. He had always had the tendency to be distant. He honestly felt bad for that, but it was just how he dealt with things.

He let out a chuckle.

"Maybe that's why I'm so fucked up..."

"Maybe what?"

Raph whirled around to see Mikey climbing up to the roof. He shook his head, automatically annoyed at his younger brother for startling him.

"None of ya business, alright?"

"Whoa, at ease!" He threw his hands up as if Raph was pointing a gun at him. "I was just wondering where you were. We all were. Master Splinter says he wants to talk to us."

Raph rolled his eyes and walked towards Mikey. "What's he want to talk about?"

"No clue. I don't know these things. I'm playing messenger boy."

" 'Bout all you're good for, blockhead." He scooped Mikey up in a noogie, his way of apologizing for snapping.

"Aw, Raph. Get off!" He shoved his older brother away and immediately started back down the building's fire escape. "What are you doing up here anyway? It's gonna rain."

Raphael took once more glance over the city, and at the ominous clouds above it. "Yeah, it is..."

_**...**_

As they walked into the Dojo, Donnie and Leo were already sitting in front of Master Splinter. Mikey and Raph took their places, and Master Splinter took a breath before speaking.

"My sons... It has come to my attention, through our connections on the surface, that the Foot may be active again in the city."

The four turtles looked at each other.

"But we took care of Shredder." Leo said, "Do they have a new leader?"

"We do not know. We assume nothing before we investigate."

"What do we do, Sensei?"

Raphael rolled his eyes at his ever proper older brother.

"Leonardo and Donatello will go tonight, and observe a jewelry store that we believe they will attempt to burglarize. Michelangelo and Raphael will stay here. I do not want attention drawn. If there is any sign of activity, use the radio, and call for your brothers. Do _not _attempt to fight them until you are all together, is that clear?"

Raphael jumped up. "Stay here? Are ya kidding me?"

"No. The two of them will draw less attention. You will stay here unless they need you."

Raphael felt his face growing hot. Not only did he hate being left out of the action, but the idea of Donatello going anywhere near harm's way without him put a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had to go. If something happened to Donnie... to either of them, and he wasn't there to protect them, he...

He couldn't even think about it.

"I'm just as good at being quiet as them! What if something happens?"

"Then I trust your brothers to know what to do."

Raphael took a deep breath, hating how he'd turned his words around.

"We'll call if we need you, Raph. They may not even be there." Donatello's voice was like cool water to red hot metal. Raphael looked at him, then back to Master Splinter, before walking out of the room, officially pissed off.

He made his way to his room, and collapsed on the bed in defeated annoyance. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, replaying the way Donnie's voice had sounded as he attempted to reassure him in the dojo. It didn't exactly work. He was still nervous, and still didn't like the idea of the four of them not being together on such missions.

He couldn't help but laugh at himself.

All of them? Or him not being with Donnie?

He loved his brothers. All of them. He and Leo couldn't seem to ever find steady ground with one another, but they were brothers. That was to be expected, and Raphael was just adult enough to know that his attitude never helped anything. He had tried before to take steps to get along, but it always seemed to fall apart for some reason. His temper just got a hold him when it came to Leo, but he knew that he would die for him. For any of them.

Mikey was a source of happiness to Raphael, even though it came with that side order of annoyance. He looked out for Mikey, like a big brother should, and knew that he was hard on him, but only because he was trying to teach. He secretly loved his antics, and often wished that he could be more like Mikey. Things rolled off of him, like water rolls off a beautiful swan's feathers, and Raph envied that far more than he cared to admit.

Dontello, however, was different. He supposed it came out of nowhere. Sometime between very young and about 13. Donnie was his brother, but he never felt the same about him as he did with Leo and Mikey. Once he reached his early teen years, he was able to understand the concept of being in love. At first saying to himself that he was _in love_ with Donatello just fit. The innocence of childhood sheltered him from the conflict that came along with that.

Once he reached about 16 he realized that being _in love_ with your brother wasn't exactly acceptable. All hopes he'd ever had of telling Donnie went right out the window. He would never risk loosing his brother, by being selfish and asking for more. Oh, but how he longed to kiss him. Donnie made him think of all that mushy stuff in the movies. It was annoying... yet he found himself thinking about it all the time.

He sat up quickly, shaking his head, trying to shake the frustration off like water. He was bored, but it was a more intense form. He was practically stagnant. He thought more and more of leaving, just packing up and disappearing in the night without so much as a note, and he would've, too, a long time ago...

If it wasn't for Donatello.

Maybe it would be better if he did. Maybe...

He jumped as a knock came at the door. "What?!" He yelled, done with being followed around for one day.

"Hey, it's me." Mikey's voice was quiet, apologetic. "Can I come in?"

Raphael stood up with a sigh and opened the door. Mikey had a large goofy grin on his face, and held up some doughnuts, and soda like a peace offering. Raphael gave him an annoyed look, but finally took the soda from him and moved from the door, and Mikey slid his way in.

He plopped down on the bed, sat the doughnuts beside him and popped his soda. "So what's up, Bro?"

Raph sat down in his desk chair. "What is it, Mikey?"

"I'm just checking on ya, geez. Can't your brother hang out with ya?"

Raphael couldn't help but smirk, feeling happy that Mikey was trying so hard to reach out to him. He opened his soda, and Mikey took that as an invitation to get comfortable.

"So you think the Foot are back?" Mikey asked, almost too light heartedly.

"If they are. We'll take care of them, that's for sure."

"Got that right, Brother!" Mikey took a big bite of a doughnut. "Leo and Donnie will know more when they get back."

That feeling came back to Raph's stomach as Mikey reminded him that Donnie would be out there.

"I don't like this." He found himself confiding. "I got a bad feeling."

"What could happen, Raph? You act like they're not intensely trained badass ninja turtles or something."

Raphael rolled his eyes. He took a drink of his soda and decided Mikey wouldn't take it serious enough... as usual.

"Look", Mikey said, sensing Raphael's intense gestures, "I'm just saying it will be ok.. and if you're... I mean... nah, nevermind."

"What?"

"No... no. I'm putting my foot in my mouth."

"What, Mikey?" Raph leaned forward.

Mikey looked and him and finally sighed: "I was gonna say that, if you're that worried about it, that I would... cover for you... maybe."

Raph's heart swelled for his little brother. "Would ya, Mikey? I'd owe you one!" He jumped up and started gathering his things to go out.

"Now, wait just a second!" Mikey stood up quickly, and Raph turned to him. "I'm really not looking to get in trouble today. If I'm going to do this, I want to know why you really want to go out. Are you really feeling like something bad will happen, or are you just looking for a piece of the action?"

Raphael always admired how Michelangelo could have his moments of intelligence. He smiled at his brother. "You're smarter than you look, Mike..." He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and before Mikey could say anything else, he disappeared out of the room.

Mikey didn't even try to follow, and fell back on Raph's bed defeated, just knowing he'd let his big mouth get him in trouble... again.

**_..._**

As Raphael made his way quietly through the shadows on the rooftop, he watched carefully for Leo and Donnie, not sure where they'd be posted to watch the store. He froze suddenly as he heard voices, but relaxed when he realized it was Leo and relaxed more when he realized it was on the rooftop across the street. He climbed up a small tower on the rooftop and got a great vantage point of the store, and his brothers.

The store was dark and quiet, no activity whatsoever. Raphael let out a breath he'd been holding when he saw that, and thought for a moment that maybe he should go back, and try to keep Mikey from getting into any trouble on his behalf.

Just as he was about to climb down, he heard Leo hush Donnie. They all looked to the store. A huge black van pulled up in front of it, and stopped. Raphael's eyes darted from the van, to his brothers and back again.

He heard Leo turn the radio on and call. No response.

He tried again. Nothing.

"Dammit, Michelangelo..." Raph whispered, knowing that Mikey had _once again_ forgotten to turn on the radio.

He heard Leo give a similar curse and look around, contemplating what to do. He climbed down quickly and rushed to the edge of the roof, as close to his brothers as he could get, listening to their plan.

"What do you want to do?" Donnie asked Leo.

"I don't know. Let me think. How many of them are out there?"

Donatello crawled over and looked over the roof, looking intently. "A driver, and passenger at least... I can't see anyone else."

"What are they doing?"

"Just sitting there."

Raphael watched them like a hawk, ready to dive in if they noticed his brothers, but doing his best not to get carried away and protective.

Leo tried the radio one more time, and when there was once again no response, he sighed. "I think we should go back."

"Go back?" Donatello said, looking over at the alleged crooks. "But we might loose them."

"How many people do you think could fit in the back of that van, Donnie?"

He took another look. "I don't know. 10, cramped?"

"That 12... versus you and I."

Donnie saw his point. "Alright... let's get out of here."

Just as Donnie said that, a loud bang came from the street below. Raph gasped as a giant net shot up and opened above his brothers. "No!" he screamed, but Donnie and Leo rolled out of the way just in time.

"Raph?" Donnie called out, but there were two more shots from the street, this time it opened above Leonardo and Raphael.

Raph managed to jump out of the way, but the net swirled around Leo, tangling him. Donatello was there in an instant and helped him cut his way free. Raphael looked over the roof to see 5 or 6 men, all with the net guns, some had knight sticks. He looked over to his brothers who were gathering themselves.

"Get out of here!" He yelled and pointed toward the lair. Leo and Donnie rushed to the edge and looked over for themselves.

Leo looked up at Raph. "We all have to go! Now!"

**Bang! Bang! Bang!**

Three nets opened, they all jumped, narrowly missing capture. Donnie slammed into an air conditioning unit, not having time to check before he jumped. He slumped down and clutched his head.

"Donnie!" Raph yelled, but he jumped as he sensed the bodies behind him, he turned to face 4 men, two with the net guns.

"Which one is that?" One asked.

"It doesn't matter!" Another yelled, and fired the net gun. Raph leaped in the air, and felt the net catch his leg, sending him spiraling in the air, and causing him to land on the rooftop with a thud, but thankfully not tangled in a net. The wind rushed out of him with the impact, and he faintly heard his brothers calling his name.

"Yes it does, you idiot" The tallest one said, slapping him in the back of the head. "We want the purple one."

Raphael's eyes blazed as his words sank in.

_We want the purple one..._

**_The purple one..._**

He jumped up in a rage. He grabbed the one that said it and tossed him into the side of the rooftop, inches away from rolling over the edge. He fell with a thud, but the others closed in quickly. They rushed him, and caught him off guard enough for the net gun to land it's target perfectly, and wrap him in the net.

"Raphael!" He heard Leo scream, and could hear them scrambling to get off the roof.

"No!" Raph called, though he couldn't tell they were unable to hear. "Get him out of here, Leo! Leo!"

The men walked over and checked his mask. "Red." One said.

"He'll come after him. Everyone hide."

"Any of you touch him and I will fucking kill you! I will fucking rip you in half!"

Raphael struggled as they all disappeared.

"Raphael?" Donnie's voice came from the street. "Talk to me, Raph! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Donnie! Get out of here, dammit! They're after you, Donnie! Go!"

"Shut up!" He heard one of the men yell, and suddenly a boot connected with the back of his head, racking him almost to the point of passing out. He couldn't hear anything, but he saw all of the men rushing passed him, down the stairwell, and the fire escape.

_No..! Donnie!_

He tried to yell for Donnie to run, but he had no voice. He tried to fight with the net, but his strength was fading out of him. Finally, he fell still and the world blurred as he slipped in and out of consciousness...

He was lying there trying to regain vision, when a voice came from behind. "I knew it. I fucking knew it!"

He looked up to see Mikey rushing over to him. He grabbed one of his sais and sliced the net. Raphael fell free, and started catching his breath. "What.. the hell are you... doing here?"

"I'll take that as your 'Thanks for saving my ass, Mikey.'"

Raph couldn't help but smile as he struggled to his feet. "We have to get down there." He told Mikey. "Those men... they're after Donnie..."

"After Donnie? What are you talking about?" Mikey rushed over to help his brother walk toward the fire escape.

"I heard one them say that they wanted the 'purple one'." Raph said, starting to get himsef together, "They have net guns. They're trying to take him. They had me right there and didn't even touch me. It's just Donnie."

"What? Why?"

"Like I know, Blockhead?! Let's go!"

They rushed down the fire escape to the street where Donnie and Leo were doing a pretty good job about holding their ground. Raph and Mikey joined the fight, and Mikey cowered at the disapproving glances from his eldest brother, Leonardo. He didn't like to disappoint him.

Raphael rushed to Donnie's side, and knocked the men away from him furiously. "Donnie, you've got to get out of here..."

"Not without all of you!" Donnie said immediately, and Raph knew he was serious. Raph did everything he could to stand between Donatello and the few remaining men. The men aimed the net guns right at the four of them. They all stood close together, looking around for an escape, but every path was suddenly blocked by more men.

Then Raph smirked, as he heard it. A low growl of an engine coming up fast. The other three turtles slowly caught on and the men started looking around anxiously. Suddenly a large Harley flew toward them, they all dove out of the way, as Casey Jones rode into the circle of men. A few ran away completely, but most cowered and watched until everything settled to see what had rode up on them.

"Hey guys!" He greeted happily, "Need a hand?"

"You know it, Brother!" Mikey said excitedly.

The men closed in and Casey whipped his bike around. He rushed forward, causing the men in front of him to run, and knocked a few to the ground with his hokey stick. The turtles jumped into action, using Casey's distraction as the opportunity they needed to take out the remaining thugs and regain control of the street. Raph searched the alleys, van, and streets like a wild man for any thugs they may have missed, finally he walked back over to his brothers.

"Alright. Let's get out of here."

"Hold on, Raph." Leo said, walking toward the van.

"What do ya mean hold on? What if there's more of 'em?"

"We need to find out what they're up to." He jumped in the back of the van as Raphael did everything he could not to loose his cool. Donatello walked over to him and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. Raph relaxed immediately.

"What were you doing out here? Did Master Splinter send you?"

"Not exactly."

"Oh I see." Donnie rolled his eyes and spark of annoyance shot through Raph.

"What? See what?"

"You wanted a fight. You came out here for a work out."

Raph felt his face get hot for the millionth time that day.

"Well, if that is what I came out here for, I certainly got it didn't I? What if you two had been alone? The radio didn't work! You should be thanking me!"

"I never said I wasn't grateful, Raph." Donnie said, and even though his tone was annoyed, it chilled Raphael. "I just don't understand why you followed us in the first place. Was that what it was? Looking for some action?"

"No. It was... that is, I.. had a bad feeling."

"A bad feeling?"

"I did! Ask Mikey, it's why he said he'd cover for me..."

"Cover for you?!" Leonardo's voice stopped their conversation entirely.

Mikey sunk behind Casey, as Leo stomped over to him. "You actually covered for him, and let him follow us? Master Splinter said-"

"I know, Leo!" Mikey interrupted, "But he said he had a bad feeling, and if he had a bad feeling than it made me have a bad feeling, ya know? So I thought I'd let him check on the bad feeling so my bad feeling wouldn't be so bad..."

Mikey was stumbling over his words, and Raph stepped in between them.

"It was my idea, Leo. I wanted to follow and I did, so lay off, will ya?"

Leo looked at Mikey, then back to Raph with disapproval, but turned and let him be for now.

He looked at everyone: "Let's go home..."


	2. Chapter 2

**__****Change**

_****__**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor anything affiliated.

_****__**Summary:**_ Raphael feels change on the horizon. His feelings, body, and brothers are maturing. When Donatello is kidnapped by Shredder, Raphael battles to save him, and with whether his feelings for Donnie are as brotherly as he'd once thought. (Turtlecest. RaphXDon MikeyXLeo)

_**Chapter 2**_

Early the next morning, Master Splinter had called them all into the dojo. He paced back and forth, thinking.

Donatello watched him. He could see the concern on his father's face, and honestly, he was pretty concerned himself. Raphael said they were after him. Why him? 'The purple one' they had said. Donnie took a deep breath and looked back up at their sensei. Finally he sat down and spoke.

"What exactly did you hear them say, Raphael?"

"They came up on me and asked which one I was. One said it didn't matter but the other said: 'Yes, it does.'... 'We need the purple one.'" It took Raph a few seconds to say the words.

Donatello took another deep breath.

"Did you find anything in the van, Leonardo?"

"Well, it's definitely The Foot. I found several plans with their seal, but nothing about what they need Donnie for, just that they do." He dropped all the papers he gathered from the van into a big manila envelope and threw it down in front of him, frustrated.

"They've never had any interest in capturing us before." Leo said, "Only killing us. Why would they want to now, and why only one of us?"

Master Splinter shook his head in a thoughtful manner. "I do not know. There are too many questions that we can not answer."

"I'll go back to the van again" Raphael stood up, "and when they come back for it, I'll beat it out of one of those punks."

"No." Master Splinter said quickly, "I don't want any of you going out right now. Casey has graciously offered to investigate the van, and surrounding area. For now the four of you _stay at home._" His eyes were locked with Raphael's as he said the last three words.

Raphael stormed away, and the other three dispersed slowly.

**_..._**

Donnie sat at his computer, going over some calculations for an experiment. Things were going just as he suspected, which, to him, was kind of boring. He was doing his best to disappear into his work, but tonight, his mind was elsewhere. He couldn't help feeling a little frightened. The idea that your family's arch enemies were looking to kidnap you, and only you, was pretty unnerving.

He sat back in his chair, and looked up at the ceiling. He was deducing that The Foot had to have a new leader. They'd done Shredder in long ago... but why would the first move of the new leader of a massive group of ninja thieves be to capture Donatello Hamato? He looked up as he heard faint thuds from the training room, and he just knew that it was Raphael.

He wasn't quite sure why he was so upset. Yes, he would certainly be upset if it were one of the others, but Raph seemed to be taking it kind of personal, and it was odd. He listened to the thuds get louder and faster, until finally they stopped completely. He took a breath as if he'd been the one pushing himself at the punching bag. He stared at the hall toward the training room, and could almost see Raphael pacing around the bag, preparing himself for round two, even though he was sweating and out of breath.

He found himself imagining it. The precision of his strikes, the way his forest green skin would shine in the candle light with the light sweat over it. He shook the image out of his head, not sure why it was even there, or why the thought placed a slight blush over his cheeks. He did what he could not to think of Raph, because it always tended to get like that. Slow, and sensual, like a romance novel. It was increasing lately, but Donnie had been doing his best to shrug is off as one of those crazy thoughts you get from time to time that makes you shudder.

But it didn't make him shudder... at least, not in the way he was trying to pretend it did.

He stood up and headed over to the hot coffee pot on the counter in the corner. He filled up a big cup, and took a long slow drink, loving the way the hot liquid caressed his throat. Coffee had become a bit of a lifeline for Donatello. He'd been very absorbed in his work lately, and the coffee kept him going, it seemed. He'd actually been working so much that Mikey, Leo, and Master Splinter had expressed concern, perhaps he planned on working until the one person he wanted to care actually did.

He walked back over to the printer and picked up a few papers that it had just spit out. He analyzed them carefully, and typed some of the new calculations in his computer. Just as he was adding the last few numbers, Raphael headed through on his way to the bedroom. Donatello couldn't help but laugh as he saw how sweaty and exhausted he was.

Raphael stopped at looked him. "What?" He said, more softly than he ever did with anyone else, "What is it?"

"You look about as tired as me."

"Oh shit!" Raph said with a laugh. "I must look horrible, then."

"Oh, ha-ha." Donnie rolled his eyes.

Raphael could see the exhaustion emanating off of Donnie. Now he knew the added stress of the current event couldn't be helping. He walked over to him and looked at him closely. Donnie stared back just long enough for it to get embarrassing. He turned his head quickly, hiding the blush well.

"What is it, Raph?"

"Just wondering if you'd managed to turn yourself into a robot or something."

Donnie stood up with a sigh, rolling his eyes again.

Raphael was practically flirting with him. Well, that's what he called it to make himself feel good. He knew it was brotherly banter. For some reason Raph had always been able to talk to him better than his other brothers. Which always made Donnie feel bad for the feelings that swirled in his head when he was around Raph. He was the only brother that Raphael seemed to actually click with, and brotherly love wasn't exactly on Donatello's mind.

"I'm just messing with ya, Donnie." Raph said quickly, trying not to upset his younger brother. "I'm just worried about ya, is all? You stay cooped up in this lab all the fucking time. All hours of the night... You need a break."

Donnie turned from Raph and smiled. His heart was warm that he was showing concern for him, but before he could respond to the sweet gesture, Raph spoke again, this time in a very serious tone: "Donnie.."

He turned to face his brother, who was looking at him gravely.

"I want you to know..." He took a breath as if he was having difficulty saying it, "That I... I won't let anyone touch you, and if they do... I'll fucking kill them." Donatello could see his hands shaking as he clenched his fists. He felt good and bad for the intensity in Raph's words.

He felt good that he cared so much, that he had a passion for protecting him, but he also felt guilty that everything was orbiting around him. He was the one that needed to be protected, he was the one the enemy wanted... way more trouble than he was worth.

He placed a gentle hand on Raphael's shoulder and he looked up at him. "Thanks, Raph..."

**_..._**

Mikey sat in the den, playing a video game intently with the volume turned up high on the TV. Video games were how he ecaped from the world, and boy, did he want to disappear. Luckily, Master Splinter had decided not to punish him for what happened last night, but that didn't stop Leonardo from giving him glances. He knew a lecture would come eventually, and he was dreading it. He loved his brother, and hated when he was upset with him. Also, the lectures tended to last a while, and the definitely cut into serious TV time.

Suddenly his TV cut off. "Huh?!" Mikey raised up quickly, but sunk back down as he noticed Leonardo holding the plug to his system.

"Oh man..." Mikey pulled a pillow over his face as Leo walked over to him. He took the pillow away slowly, and Mikey looked up at him without a word.

"Why did you cover for Raphael?" Leonardo was never one for beating around the bush.

"Leo, please..." Mikey sat up.

"I just want to know, Mikey. You know what that could've caused?"

"Looked to me like it ended up saving the day."

Leo stared at him for a second, and suddenly his gaze softened. "You're right, Mikey." He said softly, "It did."

Michelangelo looked at his eldest brother in shock. Had he really just said that? Mikey was ... _right_? He squinted at his brother, and put their faces really close. Leo backed up at bit. "Did you just say I was right?"

Leo looked from side to side, kind of confused. "Yes...?"

Mikey let his face fall into a genuine smile. Leo couldn't help but return it, even though their faces were inches apart. Finally, Mikey backed away, and Leo let out a breath he didn't even notice he was holding.

"Well, damn! Leonardo Hamato just said I was right! My life is complete. I can stop trying now." He flopped back down on couch with sincere happiness floating off of him.

Leonardo smirked at his youngest brother. "Look just from now on, please listen to Master Splinter, and don't let Raphael talk you into crazy stunts like that, okay?"

Mikey looked up at him, and opened his mouth to confess that it was actually him who had suggested going out, but suddenly decided it wasn't such a good idea. All he ended up saying was:"Aye aye, Captain!"

Leonardo gave a small bow and a smile, and as he walked out, he plugged Mikey's game back up, and turned it on for him, causing Mikey to smile like a dumb little school kid as Leo disappeared down the hallway.

_**...**_

Later that night everything was quiet in the lair. Master Splinter, and Leonardo had already gone to bed. They always went to sleep early. Donatello had seen Mikey passed out on the couch, his game not even paused, so he knew he was down for the count. He had no idea where Raphael was, though that was normal. He was pouring himself yet another cup of coffee and sitting back down at his computer to continue typing the thesis for his current project.

He felt the need to look over his shoulder a few times, but chalked it up to too much coffee, and not enough sleep. Perhaps he should've listened to his instincts. As he typed away, and sipped his coffee, he didn't notice the shadows behind him shifting in ways they shouldn't. If he had actually gone to bed at a decent hour for once, he might have had more of a chance.

He finished typing his thought, and stretched his arms back far, closing his eyes and yawning. He rubbed his eyes roughly, feeling an obligation to nothing in particular to at least get to three pages typed before he'd allow himself to sleep. He was so tired, but for some reason he'd always done this to himself. He wanted to prove himself. To who? Everyone, he supposed. Prove he was smart? That was obvious. Prove he could work hard? The bags under his eyes told that story. Yet still he worked, forcing his eyes to stay open as he typed.

Just as Donnie glanced beside his keyboard to see the shadow of a man behind him, a hand holding a cloth shot around his mouth. Donnie gasped breathing in a large breath of whatever chemical was on the assailant's cloth. The man pulled him tightly to his chest with both arms, and Donnie shivered as his hot breath hit his ear as he whispered:"Got ya now.." He grasped the man's arm, but before he could even tug him away, the drug started to take effect and the room went from clear, to blurry, to dark, to black.

_**...**_

When Raphael opened his eyes that morning, he immediately knew that something was wrong. He got up quickly and headed toward the kitchen. He could smell tea and incense, which were normally signs of a perfectly fine morning. He walked into the kitchen to see Master Splinter and Leo sitting there sipping their tea. Also normal, but Raphael couldn't shake the feeling.

"Where's Donnie and Mikey?"

Leonardo gave him an odd look. That was certainly not what he had expected his brother's first words of the morning to be. "Mikey's passed out on the couch still. I'm sure Donnie's in bed. Why-"

"Have you seen him?"

"What?"

"Have you seen him this morning?"

"No. Last I saw him was last night at about..." Leo trailed off as Raphael did a 180 and hurried down the hallway toward their bedrooms. Leo kind of shrugged it off as simple paranoia, which was common for Raph, especially lately, and sipped his morning tea.

Raphael rushed down the hallway. He didn't even knock. Something told him he didn't have to. He flung the door open, and prayed he was wrong. His heart sank. Donatello's bed was empty, and made.

He darted back through the kitchen, ignoring Leo as he called his name. He threw open the door to Donatello's lab and ran in. He could smell stale coffee still steaming from the pot in the corner, and the only other thing that was out of place was the knocked over computer chair, and that fact that his computer was on, the document he'd been working on up and waiting to be finished. This was not like Donnie. He was very organized, even when it came to saving a file, and shutting down the computer before he went to sleep, and he would _never_ leave his chair lying on the floor in such a manner.

Raphael darted around the lab, searching for his younger brother, but his heart started to race, and his pulse thumped against his neck. He knew what had happened. His breath started to come out in harsh, loud gasps. He slumped over a desk trying to catch his breath as Leonardo rushed in. He stopped short, immediately noticing his hyperventilating brother.

"Raph..?"

"Leo..!" Raphael did everything he could to take a full breath, with the anger threatening to explode out of him in the worst possible way, "He's ... gone! Donnie's gone!"

Leonardo slowly walked toward his brother, concerned about how hard he was shaking, and how he was holding himself up with the desk. "Gone? What do you mean gone?"

"What the fuck do you think I mean?!" His anger spewed out of him like an erupting volcano. He grabbed the stack of books and papers beside him and flung them across the room. "He's gone, _Fearless Leader! _**Fucking gone!** And where the fuck were you, huh? Where were you?"

"You can't honestly be suggesting that this is my fault! None of us were here!"

Those words sunk into Raphael's veins like venom. He backed to the other counter and slid down to the floor, his breathing finally regulating, as if he were falling into a coma. Leo walked slowly toward him, looking at the turned over chair and the humming computer.

"Come on, Raph." Leo held his hand out to him, a sign of peace and forgiveness, "We have to look for clues. Don't shut down on me now..."

Raph looked up at him. He was so angry he couldn't even react. He'd fallen completely dormant. Leo reached down and took his hand, and yanked him to his feet. On the journey up, Raph snapped back to reality, but wished he hadn't. He took a deep breath, well, as deep as he could, and started to walk around the room, looking for any sign that would help them find Donatello. He scanned the floor, the desks, the walls, anywhere he could think that the slightest clue would have been left. He even went against his moral judgment and read a bit of what Donnie had been typing.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing except an overturned chair.

Raph felt the anger boiling back up in his chest. He looked over at Leo, who gave him a disappointed expression. Obviously, he'd found nothing.

They both turned quickly as they heard Mikey yawning and walking into the room. "What're you guys doing?" He said in a daze. He looked around the room with half opened eyes, until suddenly he opened them all the way, looking at something close to the ceiling. "Hey, what's that?" He pointed up toward a large air vent near the ceiling, hanging from a pipe only inches from it was a dangling black headband.

Raphael quickly used the desks, and boxes in the room to jump up to the pipe, and snatch the headband off. He jumped back down and the three brothers stood shoulder to shoulder, analyzing it. Raphael turned it every which way in his hands.

"Definitely The Foot.." Leonardo said, taking it from Raph to get a closer look.

"How the hell is that supposed to tell us where they are?" Raphael said, frustration dripping from his words.

"Wait a minute..." Mikey said, coming out of his morning comatose, "What's going on? W-Where's Donnie?" He whipped his head around looking for his youngest older brother. "Raph, Leo... Where is he?"

They both looked at the floor, and Leo shook his head. Mikey was never one to hide his emotions, and this situation was no exception. He ran around the lab, tears welling in his eyes, looking frantically for his brother, not knowing that Raph and Leo had already searched high and low. He rushed over to Leo and collapsed into his arms, sobbing.

Leo held him tight, and looked at Raph, concern playing all over his face.

Raphael touched Mikey's shoulder and then rushed to Donnie's room to look for anything suspicious, clutching the headband so tightly that is knuckles were almost white. When he opened the door, he was shocked to see Master Splinter already looking through his room. He looked up at his second eldest son with as close to sad eyes as he could get. Raph said nothing but held out the headband to his father.

Master Splinter examined it carefully, feeling it, smelling it, and scanning what felt to Raph like every last stitch.

"This band is old. Used. Not the new ones issued to The Foot upon Shredder's return. The only place I could imagine they would find these would be-"

"The old warehouse..." Raph finished his sentence.

The old rat nodded, and handed the headband to Raphael. "You must waste no time..."

_**...**_

At first, all Donatello could think about was the pounding in his head. Too much coffee, he guessed, or not enough. He couldn't tell the difference. He went to lift up, no clue that he wasn't lying in his own bed, but as he was jerked back by his wrists, his eyes snapped open. The first thing he saw was the ceiling of a large, decaying greenhouse. He looked to his right to see that he was lying in a hospital bed with his right arm handcuffed to it.

A wave a fear fell over his whole body, freezing him. He looked frantically to his left to see that it was also handcuffed to the bed. He pulled at them to no avail. His heart started racing, and only his training kept his breath even and steady, and that took a lot of effort. He looked around, no one was in the room with him, though it seemed more like a closet than a room. It couldn't have been more than five feet on each side, and all that was in there was the bed. Donatello deduced that it was a room for some particular plants, given the lack of light from the tarp around the walls, something that didn't require much sun, or perhaps that wasn't done by our botanist friend.

He jumped when the door right in front of him opened. It was one man, dressed nicely, with dark hair, and glasses. He gave Donatello a small grin, and shut the door behind him. "Hello Donatello." The man said standing beside him and crossing his arms. Donnie looked away from him. He didn't honestly expect to just walk in and have a conversation, did he?

"Look, you can play this game all you want, but we both know you'll have to talk to me eventually. Especially if you even want to get out of here."

Donnie slowly turned his head to look at the man.

He smiled gratefully, and leaned on the wall of the greenhouse. "Now, let me start properly: My name is Dr. Ian Rain. Let's just say I work for a... mutual friend of ours."

Donatello gave him a confused look, but the doctor went on: "To put it bluntly, I need your help."

"And why the hell would I help you?" Donnie found his voice.

"Fair question, Donnie. Fair question." Dr. Rain started pacing around the small room. "The truth? You wouldn't. Well, at least not of your own will, that's certain. No, see, Donatello, I'm afraid you're not going to be given much of a choice in the matter."

Donnie's heart jumped into his throat. What could he mean? How could he...?

"While our Foot Soldiers were at you home collecting you, they left a few ... surprises for your brothers. The kind that have a timer and a not so pleasant alarm."

"No!" Donnie couldn't help the outburst. He tugged on the cuffs. "Please..." He felt defeat washing over him. Donnie thought for a second that he may be lying, using an unknowable statement to bend him to his will, but he couldn't take that chance, could he? If they were able to sneak into the lair, and take him in the middle of the night, then don't say it's impossible for them to place some bombs around.

Dr. Rain was right about one thing. Donatello had no choice.

He hung his head and let out a deep sigh. "What am I supposed to do?"

Dr. Rain smiled and stood tall. "I'm working on studying the DNA mutation that different species go through when they come in contact with your "ooze" as it seems to be called here. Of course, no one outside this society would know that you even exist, let alone that you are the top mind when it comes to the study. In short, I need your DNA, and I need your mind. I need to know everything about you, and I need to know everything you've discovered in your studies."

Donatello took a deep breath and nodded slowly in agreement. "One question..." He said quietly. The doctor turned to him. "Who's our mutual friend?"

Just as the words escaped his lips, loud footsteps started making their way down the hall. "Oh." said Dr. Rain sinisterly, "Here he comes now."

Donnie watched the door intently. He pulled at the cuffs in one more futile effort, as the door slowly opened. As his eyes focused on the man in front of him, his jaw dropped, and every bit over heat drained from his body. His breath completely escaped him and for a moment he couldn't even blink.

Shredder stood in front of him, his eyes fixed on the purple turtle, a horrifying smirk on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

**__****Change**

_****__**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor anything affiliated.

_****__**Summary:**_ Raphael feels change on the horizon. His feelings, body, and brothers are maturing. When Donatello is kidnapped by Shredder, Raphael battles to save him, and with whether his feelings for Donnie are as brotherly as he'd once thought. (Turtlecest. RaphXDon MikeyXLeo)

_**Chapter 3**_

Raphael couldn't stop the guilt. It flooded him with every breath he took. If he would've done this or that, if he would've been there, if only he would've done anything other than what he did, somehow Donnie would be same at home. He stood on the rooftop where Mikey had met him just a day before. To think, he'd taken it for granted. He looked around impatiently for his brothers. He heard them coming up the fire escape, but they felt agonizingly slow for Raphael.

Once they were on the roof, he turned to them. They could see the worry in his eyes, but he was doing everything he could to mask it with anger. He had to. Worry wasn't something Raphael knew how to handle very well. Anger? He knew all about that.

"So what's the plan?" Mikey asked to no one in particular. He wasn't exactly sure who was leading this one. He looked back and forth between his older brothers.

"We go to the old warehouse, the one they were held up in just before we took care of Shredder the first time. We see what we can find out." Leo said, doing his best to make it sound like any other mission.

Mikey knew better, even he hadn't, Raph's demeanor said it all. He was fidgeting, anxious, looking over his shoulder. He was shifting from his heels to his toes, and it was honestly making Mikey very nervous.

"Raph? Are you listening?" Leo's voice brought them both back to reality.

"The old warehouse. That's all I need to know. We're wasting time with this stuff, Leo."

Leonardo rolled his eyes, but in a way, he agreed. He looked toward the warehouse, which wasn't very far away. "Fine" He said finally, "Let's go, then." He gave a reassuring smile to Raph, who simply ignored it, jumped down onto the fire escape, and rushed off. Mikey and Leo exchanged worried glances before following their brother.

_**...**_

Donnie tried to breathe, but it was like his whole body had seized all function. He couldn't even feel his heart beating. All he could do was stare at what he swore was a ghost standing in front of him. Finally his mind caught up with him, and he took a large gasping breath. He still couldn't blink or speak, but he could certainly feel his heart now, and it felt like it was trying to escape his chest.

Shredder smiled menacingly at Donatello's reaction and looked to Dr. Ian Rain. "Now, do you have all that you need?"

Dr. Rain, smiled. Donnie couldn't see his eyes for the glare from what little light was in the room. He nodded.

Shredder looked back to Donnie and walked to him. Donnie struggled with the cuffs for a second, but knew there was no use. Shredder placed the very tip of his claw-like blades on Donnie's cheek and slid them across his face, not even scratching him, just letting him feel the dangerous points. Donnie held his breath as they slid along his cheek and turned his face as far away as possible. He sucked in a gasp of air, as soon as the claws left his skin.

He heard Shredder give an evil chuckle. "It amazes me how fragile just one of you can be." Donnie looked up at him, doing his best to get control of his breathing. "Luckily, I have another use for you. At least for now..."

Donatello bit his lip, and resisted the urge to refuse to help with anything Shredder was trying to pull... but the image of his home in smoking ruins, and his brothers helplessly unaware stopped him from speaking at all. Shredder saw the defeat in his eyes and smiled again.

"Doctor..." He said and made a gesture toward Donnie.

Dr. Rain walked over and placed a security bracelet on his ankle. He locked it tight, and handed the key to Shredder. Donnie eyed it carefully, noticing the two big battery packs fashioned to it with wires and electrical tape.

"Like it?" Dr. Rain said, "I had limited supplies to work with, but it should serve it's purpose. Care to see?"

Before Donnie could say anything, the doctor pressed a button on a small, seemingly home-made remote. As painful shock shot up his body. He clinched the cuffs, and his head flew back. He let out a scream as it surged all the way to his head and back again. He felt his body start to convulse, but just as quickly as it had started, it stopped. He fell limp on the bed, his breathing even more labored now.

"Well." Dr. Rain said with a grin, clapping his hands together, "I'd say it works."

Donnie couldn't even look at him. All he could do was focus on breathing.

He heard Shredder's evil laugh again, and then the door opened, then closed. When Donatello finally got up the nerve to open his eyes, he was alone.

_**...**_

The knots in Mikey's stomach just wouldn't stop tightening. Usually he could calm himself down in most situations, expect when it came to his bothers, he'd learned. Especially something like this. He had to stop thinking about it. If he didn't, he was going to cry. Raphael was in no mood, and Leonardo needed all of his attention on finding Donnie, not cuddling his pathetic ass.

He took a shaky breath and walked on, trailing a bit behind his brothers, who weren't speaking. Silence always made him nervous, especially between those two. It usually meant something was brewing in one of them. It'd come out eventually.

All that ran through his mind was whether or not his brother was alright, and how much long he would have to walk. Raphael had said that they were close like... a _forever_ ago! His feet drug under him. He decided he had to break the silence.

"Leeoooo!"

He didn't have to see Leo's eyes to know that he rolled them. He jogged up in between his brothers. "When are we gonna be there?" He asked like an 8-year-old in the backseat.

Leo looked at their surroundings. "I don't know. 15 minutes?"

"What? That's _forever!"_

"15 minutes is _not _forever, Mikey..." Raphael said, glaring at him.

"It is right now! Look, I'm sorry! I'm just... freaking out..." The way his voice lowered even softened Raph. Leo placed his arm around his little brother's shoulder and walked like that for a bit, with their bodies touching.

Michelangelo felt so... comfortable having Leonardo so close. He always did. He assumed Leo always thought he was being an annoying little brother when he laid his head on his lap or shoulder, but Mikey was just hiding behind childish antics in order to be closer to him. He'd fallen asleep on him far more than any brother ever should, especially at their age, but his family chalked it up to an immature habit of wanting his big brother... and it didn't help that Leo had an obvious soft spot for Mikey that even he noticed.

He rarely told him no (whenever possible), he always stood up for him, did what he could to help him learn, and was always there when Mikey needed a shoulder to lean on. Literally. Even when Raph and Donnie were so tired of his jokes, they tried to stop him every time he opened his mouth, he could always count on Leo for at least a courtesy smile. That meant more to Mikey than Leo realized.

He smiled at his older brother who returned it quietly. Leo looked up suddenly as they came through the brush and woods to a clearing and a large dilapidated warehouse. He slowly pulled away from Mikey and walked beside Raph, placing a cautionary hand on his shoulder.

"We need to look around before we rush in."

Raphael let out a frustrated breath. Mikey knew that Leo had caught him just in time.

"We'll split up, but don't go far. We'll see what's out there."

Mikey knew it was taking everything Raphael had not to rush in there, sais blazing, taking on anyone in his path. Leo went right, and Raph darted left. Mikey assumed they expected him to take the middle. He walked forward, his nun-chucks clutched tightly in his hands, doing his best to hear, and separate all the sounds around him.

He picked up his brothers easily, something they'd all learned to do well. He heard the wind, and the water that was close by, small movement in the grass, nothing like men. He eyed the warehouse carefully, watching for movement, lights, anything. He listened as he brothers approached him from either side, and looked at both of them as the appeared from the vegetation.

"Anything?" Leo asked. They both shook their heads.

They all turned their attention on the huge building in front of them. They all listened. Watched.

"There's nobody here..." Mikey finally said. He quickly looked to Raphael. He was looking at the building with an anger he'd almost never seen. His breathing was slow, but heavy. Mikey could tell by the way his muscles were tensing that he was clutching his sais with all his strength. Before Mikey could open his mouth to comfort him, he took off.

"Raph!" Leo called after him. They ran after their brother. Mikey could hear Leonardo cursing Raphael under his breath, but as soon as they threw the sliding door open, they skidded to a stop, almost running into Raphael. Mikey actually had to throw himself back, and landed on his ass to prevent from running over his brother.

"Ow! What the hell, Raph?" Mikey stood quickly rubbing himself, and looked passed Raph to see what had his brothers frozen in their tracks. Mikey's jaw dropped when he saw it, or better yet didn't see it...

The warehouse was completely empty.

Even the walls had been taken out. It was nothing more than a massive empty shed. Not even trash left on the floor.

"There's nothing here..." Raphael broke both their stares, as they looked on their brother. His jaw was agape, and his eyes were as wide a saucers. Suddenly he closed them tightly, and walked toward the wall. He lifted his fist and punched the wall so hard it dented the semi-thick sheet metal more with each word:

"There's.. _nothing... _**fucking.. _here!"_**

Mikey ran over and jumped in between his brother and the wall. A risky move he'd made several times to save his brother from completely shattering his fists, and not always without expense.

This time Raphael wheeled his punch around into the air away from his youngest brother. He let out a frustrated huff, and did what he could to control his shaking hands. Mikey watched him, feeling like he could punch a few walls himself.

Leonardo just started walking around, looking desperately for anything. Any sign of activity. He looked down at the floor and narrowed his eyes. "Guys." He said suddenly, "Look at the ground. Look at the dust."

Mikey immediately saw what he was talking about. In the dust were several little pathways where furniture had been recently moved. "Oh Shit!" He said, and dared to cracked a smile. "They've been here."

They all quickly followed them out the big bay doors. They suddenly changed to tire tracks that headed around the warehouse, and back toward the main street, where the turtles would loose the trail. "Damn." Leo said looking both ways down the street to make sure no one was coming before getting right up to where the tires left the dirt trail to the asphalt.

Mikey and Raph searched the tall grass around the road for anything that might give them an idea of where they'd moved their headquarters. They all jumped as a loud clap of thunder erupted around them.

Mikey clutched his chest, and let out a loud sigh. "Oh my god! I think I almost threw up..."

Leonardo sighed himself, and walked back over to his brothers as the rain started to fall. The wind started picking up, and Mikey made a nervous glance to the sky to see the clouds rushing by pretty quickly.

"Come on. We need to head back to the warehouse. We won't find anything in a storm."

"The storm will wash everything away, Leo!" Raph protested, still looking down in the grass.

"We can't control the weather, Raph. It's going to rain whether we want it to or not. We just need to get out of it. We're no good to Donnie sick or lost."

Raph huffed in disapproval, but slowly started following Leo as the rain started to come down harder. Mikey looked back out to the road and sighed.

"Where are you, Donnie?"

_**...**_

Donatello let his head fall down onto the hospital bed. He'd scanned that room a million times, and he saw no way of getting out of this one on his own. If he could get out, he could find a phone, a door, an open window. Once free, he could slip out no problem. Yeah... _Once free_. The problem? He wasn't. The handcuffs were tight around his wrists, and he had almost no reach. Nothing around to pick the lock, and no way to reach it if there had been. The bed rails were too thick to break, and the handcuffs had no give at all.

He was utterly stuck.

He closed his eyes, and tried to wake up back in the sewer. Lying in his own bed wrapped up in his blankets. He thought 'blankets' but he imagined arms. Wrapped around his shoulders, holding him close. He took a deep breath as he looked up in his daydream. Raphael smiled down at him. He wasn't sure if he smiled for real but he certainly felt like he could've. He leaned up, putting their lips just centimeters away. He could almost feel his hot breath falling onto his mouth. He looked away, embarrassed.

His eyes widened as they caught what had once been Raphael's hand. It was pale, and slender with 3 large metal claws fashioned to it. He looked at the chest he was lying on to see that terrifying metal breast plate resting under his head. He shot up, but Shredder grabbed his face and pulled them as close as he had been to Raphael a split second before.

"Don't run away..." Shredder said in a menacing tone, and tilted his head and leaned in to kiss him...

Donnie yelled out as his eyes snapped open. His breathing was heavy, and a cold sweat had broken over him. Once he realized he'd fallen into a real dream ... shit, nightmare... he was finally able to get a bit of a grip again.

"Oh man... What the hell was that?"

His eyes snapped forward as the door opened. He couldn't help but sigh with relief as Dr. Rain walked in. "Oh good." The doctor said, "You're up."

Donnie rolled his eyes at him. He watched as he walked over and drew out a small handcuff key. He held it and the remote up. "Now. I'm going to let you up. Get you something to eat. No unruly behavior, or I'll be forced to show you what your new accessory can really do. Clear?"

Donatello slowly nodded his head. Dr. Rain reached down and unhooked set each of handcuffs. Donnie rubbed his wrists and watched as the doctor walked over to the door, and opened it wide. "Follow me." he ordered. Donnie slowly got up, taking a second to regain his balance from whatever drugs he'd been given. He slowly followed the doctor out of the room and down a narrow hallway made of tarps. When they emerged at the end, Donnie couldn't believe it. They came out into a large laboratory, one that far exceeded his own. Under any other circumstance, he would've fallen in love.

"Impressive, isn't it?" Dr. Rain said, noticing Donnie's stare. "Studying your kind has been my life's work, Donatello.."

"My kind?"

"Mutants." He said simply, and sat in a big nice computer chair. He motioned for Donnie to sit in another in front of him. He did. "You see, my research has found that there may be some kind of way to focus the effects of the 'ooze'. To manipulate it to mutate certain genes, eventually giving the person who figured it out the ability to _choose_ the mutation's outcome."

Donnie's brow narrowed, a sign, any of his brothers could tell you, that meant he was deep in thought. His mind rushed through everything he knew about the ooze, and their DNA. He'd done plenty of experiments, turning up a lot questions, along with a few facts like that the turtles were not actually blood related... but to actually think that you could use the ooze to genetically enhance certain aspects of yourself was just crazy ... or ... _was it?_

Donnie looked up at the doctor, who was seeming more and more like a mad scientist. "So you want to build an army?"

"No!" The doctor leaned forward quickly. "I want to save the world, Donatello, not destroy it! This could could be the secret to immortality!"

"And what do you think Shredder wants?"

"I'll admit he has asked me to look into the strength and power aspects of the ooze in return for funding, but it's a mere side theory... I'm talking about the cure to every disease known to man! Ending the aging process!"

"You're opening the door to something that has no end. Some things are better left alone."

"You'll see as we get into our studies, don't worry." The doctor stood, walked over to the counter and put on some rubber gloves. He reached into the drawer right in front of him and pulled out a syringe, and long rubber band.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, naturally, I'll need samples. I need to draw some blood."

"For what?"

"Maybe I haven't made myself perfectly clear." He sat the remote on the desk where Donnie could see it. He grabbed his arm roughly, but Donnie didn't fight. He continued as he drew the blood expertly: "You are going to help me with my research. Your mind is beyond brilliant, you know this... but you also _are _the experiment."

"What?!" He went to sit up, but the doctor shoved him down with more strength than he looked like he would have.

"Listen, please." He placed the vials in a zip up medical case. "I'm going to study you. How you react to different stimulants to test your similarity to humans. I'd like to determine what exactly changed from animal to man."

"I'm not a man." Donnie said, "I'm a turtle."

Dr. Rain looked at him like a teacher looking at a small child. "I'll be the judge of that."


	4. Chapter 4

**__****Change**

******Disclaimer:**I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor anything affiliated.

_****__**Summary:**_ Raphael feels change on the horizon. His feelings, body, and brothers are maturing. When Donatello is kidnapped by Shredder, Raphael battles to save him, and with whether his feelings for Donnie are as brotherly as he'd once thought. (Turtlecest. RaphXDon MikeyXLeo)

_**Chapter 4**_

By the time they reached the warehouse, the rain was pouring. The wind whipped the trees around, and the thunder was loud and often. Leonardo held the door open as his brothers rushed in. He pushed it closed himself, and shook his head to get the excess water off of him.

He watched as Raph immediately put distance between them. Mikey looked over and Leo simply shook his head. "Let him go." He said quietly, "He needs to be alone, I guess."

"He's always alone." Mikey said, walking over to Leo, giving Raph his space, but not without several glances back.

"I know." Leo sighed, and sat down on the concrete floor, his back against the metal wall. Mikey sat beside him, and leaned his head on his shoulder. Leo smiled down at him. He envied Mikey's innocence. He rested his head on Mikey's, and couldn't help but feel him smile.

Suddenly Leonardo felt very sad. He was worried about Donnie, and Raphael for that matter, but he was also worried about Mikey. He knew that Mikey was rather attached to him, and he would be lying if he said he didn't feel it, too. There was an attraction to be near each other that neither of them seemed able to fight. Whether it was a strong connection as youngest and eldest or something deeper, Leonardo did not allow himself to think of it.

The idea of actually favoring one of his brothers was simply one he could not entertain. Though maybe it already was that way, and he was just doing his best to fight it. Whatever the case, he knew he would eventually have to hurt Michelangelo. He was their leader, the one that everyone was going to look to when Master Splinter was gone, and he couldn't let feelings for anyone jeopardize that. He need to be strong and sacrifice that for the family.

He only wished that Mikey didn't have to sacrifice it, too.

He'd struggled with it. Whether Mikey had romantic, or simply close brotherly interest in him, it had to be taken care of, and soon. He had to show him that he might not always be there.

It was the right thing to do...

So why did he feel so damn bad about it?

He sighed, forgetting that Mikey was lying on him. "Are you okay?" Mikey said as he sat up to look at his brother.

Leonardo was kind of caught off guard by this, and struggled to find his words. "Yeah. I'm fine. I mean... fine, enough... given what's going on... I was just thinking about ... things."

Mikey gave him a suspicious look, but didn't question it further. He looked over at Raphael. "Is gonna be okay, Leo? He's not handling this well..."

Leo looked at his brother across the warehouse, and sighed deeply, too much weighing on his mind to know anything, let alone something so deep. "I don't know, Mikey..."

_**...**_

Donatello looked at the doctor, convinced more than ever that he completely out of his mind. The doctor stored the blood samples and then sat back down in his chair. He picked up a clipboard from the counter in front of him. He crossed his legs and clicked the pen into the position to write.

"Now." He said calmly, "I have a few questions."

Donatello reached up and rubbed his temples. "Look. I'm really not in the mood to answer your questions or be your damn experiment!" He looked up at him with anger in his eyes. "I'm not going to help you give Shredder an army. Nothing's worth that. It's not going to work like you think it is. He's lying to you."

Dr. Rain acted like he hadn't said a word. "What's your full name? Do you have a last name?"

Donnie shook his head and rubbed his temples harder. "Please, just leave me alone. I don't want to help you, and I damn sure don't want to be your guinea pig..."

The doctor picked the remote off of the table, and Donnie realized he'd let his emotions get the better of him. He had to play this smart, not stubborn. Besides, if they really did had the lair rigged with bombs, anything was worth saving his family. Even giving Shredder an army, ironically enough.

"OK wait." The doctor hesitated, smiling in the most sinister way. Donnie hung his head. "My name is Donatello Hamato."

"Hamato? I assume your father's name..?"

Donnie nodded.

The doctor wrote it down.

"Would you consider yourself happy?"

_Happy..? _Donnie had never been asked that before. Was he really happy? Yes, and no. He loved his family, and had more than his fair share compared to a lot of people, but he certainly felt the hole in his life, and the fact that he had no idea how to fill it just made it that much worse. He contemplated for a long moment.

"Donatello?"

He looked up, but quickly shook his head, frustrated with the fact that the question was hard to answer. "Well, I was.." Donnie said in a frustrated tone.

"Before?"

"Before you guys swooped in and fucking _kidnapped_ me to be your "experiment"!"

The doctor sighed and wrote something down on the clipboard. "So you were happy at home? With your family?"

Donnie sighed, feeling defeated and helpless. "Yes... I love my family."

"They're why you haven't tried to escape, aren't they?"

Donnie looked at him. "Yes..."

"So you're able to form a family bond, but what about a romantic one?"

He could feel the blush forming on his cheeks and prayed the doctor didn't notice. "I'm a mutant turtle... the only other members of my species are my brothers. Not much in the way of romantic interests..."

"But according to your own research, the four of you are not blood related. Having a romantic interest is absolutely possible."

"We were raised as brothers..."

"I see." The doctor was scribbling quickly on the clipboard. "And what about sexual urges?"

Donnie knew there was no hiding the blush now. "What?"

"Are you shy about these things? I apologize. These are just topics I'm interested in knowing about."

"Why the hell do you want to know about that?"

"Well, it's a huge part of your humanity, Donatello. Romantic, and sexual urges are a significant part of what separates us from the beasts, which is precisely what this experiment is about."

"I'd rather not talk about that, if you don't mind..." His polite words were just another way of being defiant.

"I'm afraid that's something I just can't skip over." The doctor said politely, looking at Donatello with blank eyes.

Donnie looked at him like he was a mad man. In fact, he was pretty sure that was precisely what he was looking at. He stood and paced slowly. The doctor didn't react at all. Donnie let out a frustrated laugh. "You can't honestly expect me to sit here and tell you my fucking... sexual fantasies... or whatever the hell you want-"

The doctor cut him off: "So you do have fantasies?"

Donnie let out a frustrated sigh. He covered his face with his hands and then dropped them harshly. "Can we please just ... move on?"

"Fine." He said, to Donnie's surprise. "We'll come back to it." He scanned the clipboard, flipping pages. "Tell me about your relationship with your father. Do you get along?"

"I'm failing to see the point in all of this."

"I'm judging your psychological state. Sure you have obvious human attributes, but does your mind work the same way? That remains to be seen. Do you form, keep, and have relationships like humans, and if so, are they different? Homo, heterosexual or both?"

The doctor's eyes were starting to blaze and he was inching closer to the edge of his seat. With every word, he spoke faster and louder.

"Do all mutants share the same boundaries as you or is it individual? You're a genius, Donatello, and you were a mere turtle, but would the ooze turn a genius human into a babbling lunatic or would it give him power beyond comprehension? There are so many questions, and they could be answered by you simply_ talking_ to me, and complying with my... tests."

The way the doctor's last word came out almost made Donnie physically cringe.

The doctor did everything he could to soften his expression and voice: "Donatello, we are talking about the saving grace off all mankind... mutant turtles, alike. Would you not want to have a cure for cancer if one of your brothers got it? If one of their bodies started failing, would you not want to be able to give them a shot that makes them stronger than ever?"

Donatello looked at the floor, and tried not to let it make sense.

"Your father is old. He won't live forever. Unless you can help me use this mutagen to create a cure-all medicine. For all species. "

"That's impossible." Donnie said, not looking up.

"No!" The doctor actually ran over, and stood in front of Donnie, forcing his gaze to be met. "It's not..."

Donatello pulled away from the doctor quickly, hating the closeness of their faces. He sighed yet again, and found a flood of emotions over him. He missed his brothers, he was worried about his father, and worst of all, they were completely unaware that their greatest enemy was not as defeated as they'd thought. Honestly, he was terrified. Terrified of Shredder, terrified of Dr. Rain, and what they hoped to carry out together. He was also terrified for himself. What did they have planned for him, and did he even want his brothers to try to save him when they'd be coming so close to danger?

The doctor let out an almost hearty laugh. "Donatello, I hate to be blunt, but you really don't have much say in any of this. It would really speed this process along, for both of us, if you would just be cooperative."

Donnie looked at him with contempt. The doctor noticed. "What are you feeling?" he said like an eager psychiatrist about to make a breakthrough.

Donatello could feel anger inside him, and took a second to wonder if that was how Raphael felt when his face got bright and his eyes blazed. "I'm pissed! What the hell do you think?! You came into my home, drugged me, kidnapped me, threatened my family, and now you expect me to sit here and play your little back and forth? You've got the wrong fucking idea."

The doctor smiled and rushed over to jot something down on his clipboard. Donatello's frustration felt uncontrolable. He jumped forward, ready to easily strike the doctor from behind, but just as he left the ground, and hand wrapped around his ankle and thrust him back against the wall, shattering some beakers and other glass containers on the way. He fell with a thud and a moan, and only recognized what had happened by Dr. Rain's frustrated words: "Master Shredder, please! He is our patient, not a punching bag to be thrown around... and look what you've done to my lab!"

Donnie rolled over quickly, trying to regain himself.

"He would've escaped, and you would have been answering for your neglegence." Shedder's voice was deep and angry, "Keep him contained, or I will..." He reached over swiftly, and grabbed the remote. The doctor actually attempted to stop him, but he slammed the button down, and that searing pain rushed through Donnie again. He screamed and felt himself arch off of the floor. He waited and cringed, just trying to make it until it stopped, but it never let up. He found himslef flipped over, face to the floor as he slowly slipped out of reality.

**_..._**

Night was coming fast as the rain refused to let up. Raphael was so anxious, he felt like he'd been taking one breath every five minutes. The storm raged on outside the warehouse, but he couldn't stand to do nothing for a second longer. Donatello was out there somewhere, no telling what was happening to him. Raphael whipped his head back and forth, trying to banish the thought from his mind. Of course, it was no use. The thoughts stuck to his mind like fly paper.

He placed his fist on the wall gently, contemplating shoving it through. He knew all it would take was minimal effort, but he also knew that it wouldn't help anything, save mangling his hand a bit more. He didn't care. He didn't care about anything, except having Donnie safe at home.

_In my arms..._

There went his head again. He threw it from side to side. Touching the wall over and over with increasing force.

"Raph..?"

He turned slowly at the sound of Mikey's voice. Mikey could see the puffiness around his eyes and the brightness of his cheeks. He did them all a favor and ignored it: "How are you feeling..?"

"And how exactly am I supposed to feel, Mikey?"

"Well..." Raphael could tell his little brother was fighting desperately for something to say that would make him feel better, and he already appreciated it. Mikey was great a bringing little sparks of unintentional comfort just by being himself.

"Look Mikey..." Raph said, immediately regretting his outburst, "I'm sorry... I'm just... hell, I don't know." He paced back and forth, his hands on his hips, looking up to the ceiling.

Mikey watched his brother curiously. His mood swings were becoming worse lately, even before Donatello's disappearance. Mikey had always shrugged it off as teenage angst, but now it was becoming more of a problem. He was down right anti-social and he only had a handful of people to talk to anyway!

Raphael quickly noticed his brother's gaze and looked up at him. "What is it?" He asked.

Mikey blinked as if coming out of a trance. "Oh, nothing... nothing. I was just making sure you were ok." He walked over to him, taking a deep breath. Raphael knew he was thinking of something to say. "I'm just... worried about you, Raph. We used to talk all the time, and play games together. Even before all of this, you were pulling away from us. What gives? I mean... like... what's bothering you?"

Raphael blinked at the sudden question. He had no idea that Mikey could be so observant. He honestly felt kind of embarrassed, though he would never admit it, to have his little brother call him out on his distant mood. He looked away and tried to think of the appropriate response, if there was one. He had more than one reason for drifting, and not all them very good ones. Of course, Raphael was sure that Mikey wouldn't understand any.

"I don't know, Mikey..." he said, looking at the floor like a scolded child. "I just... like my alone time. Is that okay?"

Once again Mikey had been shut out, and he knew it. He gave a half-hearted smile. "Well, yeah, that's fine. I just want you to know that like... I'm here, and so is Leo and Don-" he had to pause to take a breath, "And Donnie..."

Raphael turned completely away from Mikey. "If there's something bothering you," Mikey continued, "You can talk to us about it."

Raph didn't mean for the scoff he let out to be so loud. "You, maybe..." he said the anger bubbling back up in his stomach, "But Leo? Come on. He can't let go of this whole "responsible leader" thing long enough to give damn about what any of us feel, and Master Splinter, too. He always talks in riddles and never really helps anything. Donnie can't get out of the lab long enough to realize that anyone else is even there, and you..." He could almost feel Mikey embracing for impact. "You just... wouldn't understand."

Michelangelo felt hurt. Just because he was goofy and fun-loving, didn't mean he was an idiot or anything, and that was exactly how Raph had made him feel. He took a deep breath, and decided the less hostile approach would be best. "I understand enough, Raph, and even if I didn't..." he turned, and started slowly walking away, feeling like he needed his own space now, "I'd listen."

Raphael didn't even try to stop him, knowing he'd said too much, too harshly, and hurt his little brother's feelings.

_Great. Worst day of my fucking life, with a massive topping of guilt, please..._

Leonardo watched as Michelangelo and Raphael separated. He could tell that something wasn't right, and he was immediately angry at Raphael. He supposed in all fairness, it could have been Mikey, or nothing at all, but he knew better. Their dynamics were always the same. He found himself very tempted to rush over and dive into the situation, but he knew that was Raphael's biggest problem with him, and now was not the time for petty arguments.

...but that look on Mikey's face as he walked was enough to break Leo's heart.

He stood and walked over. As soon as Mikey noticed him approaching, he put on that smile, but something about it just rubbed Leo the wrong way. What had Raphael said to make Mikey... _Michelangelo... _fake a smile? He walked right passed him, and over to Raphael.

Raph noticed that stride in Leo's step, and braced for words, but Leo slowed as he got closer. "Raph..." Leo swallowed the harsh words he wanted to say, "Are you two ok?"

Raphael whipped around. It was something about Leonardo that just got under his skin, no matter how obvious it was that he was trying to be civil. "What's with everybody asking if I'm okay? I'm fucking peachy Leo! Wonder how Donnie fucking feels?!"

"There's no reason to act out on us! We're in the same boat..."

"Are you?!"

Leonardo blinked, confused by the statement, and Raph simmered from his accidental outburst. He turned and walked toward the wall, just wanting distance between them. Leo found himself sufficiently annoyed, and walked after him.

"You can't just walk away, Raph. You can't turn your back on this like you do everything else! We have to work together."

Raphael just fumed, and thrust his fists forward with all his strength as he reached the wall. It smashed right through and all the brothers had to blink a few times, as sunlight rushed in. He pulled his hand back, ignoring the blood running down his wrist. He looked back at his brothers. Leo had stopped in his tracks, and Mikey was genuinely smiling again.

The argument was over as quickly as it had begun.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Change_**

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor anything affiliated.

**_Summary:_** Raphael feels change on the horizon. His feelings, body, and brothers are maturing. When Donatello is kidnapped by Shredder, Raphael battles to save him, and with whether his feelings for Donnie are as brotherly as he'd once thought. (Turtlecest. RaphXDon MikeyXLeo)

_**Chapter 5**_

When Donatello's eyes finally managed to open, he was back in his little room. No change, save he was no longer handcuffed. Donnie scoffed that. Why did he need to be? That bracelet trapped him enough. He looked down at it, and examined it closely. He saw all the fail safes and knew there was no getting it off without the key. At least not without being noticed, and he didn't exactly have anywhere to go.

He laid back down, and sighed. His body aching from the shock, and he felt like he'd had no sleep, though there was no telling how long he'd been out. He closed his eyes and tried to regain some sort of rational thought. He knew his brothers would be looking for him. Had they left any clues about where he was? They seemed like a well-organized group. They certainly surprised him.

He desperately searched for a way to escape. A hole in this scheme Shredder had cooked up. He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling a sudden chill of loneliness creep around him. He found himself thinking of Raphael, and slight smile crept on his lips, but it faded quickly. He missed him... with a certain intensity that he didn't find for anyone else. It actually made him feel kind of selfish. He tried to blame his longing for Raph on not seeing him as much as Leo or Mikey, but Donatello Hamato was a scientist, and he knew bullshit when he heard it.

He cared for Raphael in a way that he shouldn't. It was as simple as that.

_"But according to your own research, the four of you are not blood related. Having a romantic interest is absolutely possible."_

Donnie shook his head. He couldn't stand how much sense that lunatic made, especially in that one statement. However, Donatello's argument had been a good one. They were raised as brothers. Called family. Not to mention they were all male. No. It wasn't possible. Not for them.

He felt that familiar rush of sadness wash over him. Why did he fight against something that he knew he wanted so badly? Why would he ever try to downplay his very obvious feelings, and turn something that was _technically _plausible into an impossibility? He supposed it was his perfectionist nature.

Yet... people (or humanoid turtles) aren't perfect are they? Emotions are complicated, and they rarely make sense, but Donnie was still having a tough time with it.

Even if he did try to pursue it, would Raph feel the same? Or would he be disgusted and shut him out of his life forever? Finally run away like Donatello had always feared he would. What would Mikey and Leo think if they knew? Or Master Splinter? Were the consequences really worth benefit?

Sometimes Donatello absolutely hated how his mind worked... He supposed if he were anyone else, he'd have done something about it by now.

He turned over on his side trying to gain a bit of relief from the aching in his muscles. It didn't help. He closed his eyes, and did his best to fall asleep, but he was far too uncomfortable. He could hear muffled sounds coming from different places in the greenhouse. He found himself wondering how many men were actually out there, and how well he thought he might fair if he did try to escape. He knew better than to think he wouldn't be overwhelmed unless he could remain unseen.

His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening and Dr. Rain entering with his normal blank, yet happy expression. Donnie noticed a certain hint of satisfaction in his demeanor. "Feeling better?" he asked.

Donnie simply turned his head.

"Donatello, please..." The doctor sounded almost heartfelt, "Have I not proven that I'm not here to hurt you? I tried to stop Shredder. I defended you."

Donnie shot up, enraged. "Defended me? Why do you give a fuck what happens to me? Why would you make him a damn shock collar if you didn't expect him to use it?" Donnie's voice lowered and he looked at the ground. "He's going to kill me before this is over. Watch. Then when he's done with you, you'll be next."

"You're wrong. You've become to valuable."

"Valuable?"

"Yes." The doctor grinned, "You are an asset to this experiment that he knows is essential. As am I. If he wants his army, as you say, he'll have to work with us to get it."

Donatello found himself wondering what side this guy was on, but realized quickly that he wasn't on either. He had his own agenda. He was using Shredder just as much. "But why help Shedder?" he asked, "If the research is as valid as you say..."

"Because he got me to _you_."

"You keep saying that..." Donnie cradled his head in his hands, "But what is so special about me? I don't get it."

"Though it is true that, as far the genetic or physical analysis, any of the you would have done just fine. Even your Master Splinter. You, however, Donatello, have the added prospect of your mind, not to mention earlier research in the field. If you were a man and had the same resources as I do, you would have seen this years ago, and would be basking in the light of notoriety! I need your help. You and I together can discover the key. The missing piece of the huge puzzle I've already uncovered. The one... _thing _that holds the ability to manipulate our outcome."

Donatello's scientific mind started to get the better of him. "What evidence do you have that this _thing _even exists?"

Dr. Rain suddenly seized up and looked away. "Let's just call it a hunch..."

"A hunch? You're serious? So you have no evidence?"

"On the contrary..." He spoke so matter-of-factly, "I'm simply very... careful with whom I share certain aspects my notes with. This research is too valuable."

"How do you expect me to help you if you won't even share your notes with me?"

"I will as you need them. We'll just start from scratch for now."

Donatello rubbed his temples hard. "God... I have a headache."

"Oh, well, this should help." Without warning, Dr. Rain jumped up so quickly, even Donnie's ninja reflexes couldn't stop him. He sank a needle into Donnie's neck, and pushed a cold liquid into his veins. It immediately rushed through his body and he couldn't even speak. He tried, but only slurs came out.

He fell into darkness.

_**...**_

Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo had set out immediately. They searched the area, looking for anything, but the storm and renewed everything and not even one footprint was to found. Raph cursed and kicked up some rocks. They headed back toward the road.

"Well, we know they headed that way," Leo said, "but that's about the extent of it."

Mikey looked up and down the deserted street. It was almost too clean. Too empty. As if they'd taken his brother and simply vanished.

They all stopped suddenly as they heard an approaching engine. They backed away to the brush and watched carefully. That same big black Harley strode into their view and stopped quickly, looking around on top of it, Casey Jones seemed lost. They all emerged and greeted their friend happily.

"Guys! I've looked all over for you..." He said, walking his bike off of the road. "I checked that van out. April help me run the plates and it's stolen, of course. A couple of streets down from the lair. Nobody special owns it or anything. Just your everyday stolen vehicle."

"Dead ends at every turn..." Leo said.

"Not exactly..." Casey responded, "I think I found something worth checking out. I managed to snag this out of the van before the cops got it."

He handed a small plastic card to Leo. It was an ID for a Dr. Ian Marshall Rain. The three brothers examined it carefully.

"Who is that guy?" Mikey said, trying to recognize him.

"Never seen him." Raph said.

"Well, there's his address." Casey pointed out, "but he's also some hotshot chemist, and has an office on the other side of town. One way or another, he was in contact with that van _after_ it was stolen."

"Worth a shot." Leo said, "It's all we've got."

"We should split up. Cover both at the same time." Raphael said.

Leo agreed. "You and Casey head to the lab. Mikey and I will see what we can find out at his address."

Raph nodded. "You two be careful." he said, and jumped on Casey's bike. "I'm driving."

"You wish!" Casey said, an Raphael moved back immediately.

"You, too." Leo said, and they sped away through the woods. He watched for a moment, then turned to Mikey. "Come on. It's not far."

_**...**_

Dr. Rain lived in a (thankfully) secluded house, on the edge of the city. It was back from the road, and the lawn was in disorder. It honestly didn't look like anyone had ever lived there. It was small, with grey siding and white window shutters. A small porch with a flickering porch light, and a large white door. Mikey and Leo snuck up carefully and tried the door. It was locked as they had expected. They rounded the house to see a large back deck and a sliding patio door. They looked inside, inspecting carefully. They could see into the empty kitchen, that was in as much disarray as the yard.

No sign of activity anywhere. Leo slowly tried the door. It slid out of place easily.

Mikey couldn't help but giggle. "Shit, I'm glad we don't have back door."

"If we did, it certainly wouldn't be unguarded like this."

They slid into the house, and quickly searched it for anyone. Empty, as they'd thought. It was very small with only one bedroom and one bathroom. The whole house looked like someone had just left one day and never returned. The TV was on, and up. The dishes in the sink were undone, and old. Bed unmade, bathroom light on.

"Looks like someone got out of here in a hurry..." Leo remarked, as he started going through the loose mail on the kitchen table. Junk.

Mikey walked into the bedroom, and noticed a desk in the corner stacked with paperwork. He picked up the first piece of paper. As he read it, he hummed curiously.

"What's that?" Leo said, as he walked in.

"Some receipt for a ... greenhouse...? Apparently the dear old doc liked plants, I guess."

"Let me see that."

Mikey handed it over, and as Leo started to look it over, Mikey's gaze was captured. He looked Leonardo up and down, a couple of times, before he felt a blush creep onto his cheeks, he turned around quickly and cringed when he realized Leo would've obviously noticed.

"Mikey?"

Here we go.

"What's wrong?"

The blush just brightened on his cheek, embarrassment rising in him. "Um... uh... I..." He took a few steps away from Leo and didn't dare turn around. "Thought... I saw something. Yeah. A rat I guess. Heh..." Mikey let out a nervous laugh, and walked away. He fought the urge to turn around and say a lot of things he probably shouldn't. It came from the center of his chest and just rose, like the words were trying to spill out of his heart.

"Mikey..." Leo knew is brother well enough not to buy all that, "Seriously. What is it?"

Mikey bit his lip and stopped, struggling to say something about his sudden change that Leo would believe. At the same time, however, a part of him was screaming: _You're already caught, just say it. It's not that hard. Just... spit it out!_

No. He couldn't. Not now. Say something, idiot!

"Nothing Leo... I'm just worried about Donnie, and Raph."

If there was one thing Leonardo almost understood, it was Michelangelo... and he knew that worry was not the look in his eyes.

"Mikey, come on. Tell me the truth."

Michelangelo looked up and felt tears welling up as his mind snatched him back and forth. He didn't know what to do. He'd been waiting so long. If he didn't think Leo would hate him, he would scream it from every rooftop.

_I love you..._

Leonardo immediately noticed the tears. He rushed over and place his hands on Mikey's arms. "Mikey..! What's wrong?"

Mikey couldn't take it anymore. He shoved passed his brother and rushed out of the room. Leonardo quickly followed, and grabbed him just before he made it out the sliding door. "Mikey! What's gotten into-"

It was like the whole world froze. Mikey didn't realize in time to stop himself. The emotions just overcame him, and he had no idea he was even moving in before their lips were pressed roughly together, cutting Leo off.

It took Leo a second to realize what was happening. It was like someone set off a fire works show of emotion. He found his arms wrapping around him, and with that, they both melted. Leo had to almost hold Mikey up as he deepened the kiss. His slid his tongue into his mouth and could taste the tears that were still on his face.

Mikey couldn't believe it. Every time he had thought of this before, Leo had always rejected him, but now... here, in reality, Leonardo Hamato was actually holding him close and kissing him back. He kissed harder but suddenly felt very overwhelmed and had to rip away.

He stared at Leo and just started babbling: "I... I'm... I'm so sorry, Leo." He closed his eyes tightly, and placed his hands on the side of his head, "I'm so stupid. I... mean. I... shit, man..." He had no idea what to say, but he had to say something...

Leo turned and covered his mouth. Had that actually happened? What happened to letting him down easy? Letting it all go for the good of the family? He cursed himself in his head. How could he let his emotions get a hold of him like that?

He could hear Mikey getting emotional behind him. He turned quickly, and had to fight the urge to scoop him up and make it all better.

"I'm sorry..." Mikey hung his head, the tears falling steadily to the floor, "Please... don't hate me, Leo."

That was it. Leonardo's walls crumbled. He rushed over and grabbed him into another, more passionate kiss. Mikey jumped, startled, but immediately surrendered to it. Leo held him tight, but Mikey was loosing the strength in his legs. Leo backed them up to the wall and kept the kiss alive, touching his face, hands, and sides.

Mikey was still sort of crying, but now the tears were different. He was living everything he'd ever hoped for. If he died right now, he would be satisfied. He wrapped his arms around Leo's shoulders and felt himself tingle with an odd anticipation. He pulled his lips back to catch a breath, but as soon as their lips parted, so did Leo.

"Leo..?"

"We... I... Mikey, this is crazy..."

"But that's okay, right?" Mikey stepped forward, his body begging to feel that touch again, "Don't tell me you didn't just feel that..."

Leonardo looked away. Michelangelo was right. He'd certainly felt it. That urge of emotion and wanting. This drive to let go of all the boundaries of their raising and take him right here... but he knew that he couldn't. It wasn't about being brothers, or that they were males... it was Leonardo, himself. His responsibility to everything... what he'd trained his whole life for.

Romance was simply something that would get in the way of protecting the family as a whole. He knew Mikey could never understand. His heart was obviously in it. Leonardo let out a long sigh.

"Mikey... this isn't... good for us right now."

"W-What?" Mikey's heart dropped.

"I mean... dammit Mikey..." His heart swelled for Michelangelo. He loved him and he knew it. Just once... that's all he could think_._

_Just this one time... Just take him.._

He reached forward and pulled them back together and placed a shaky kiss on Mikey's lips.

_Make it a memory that he'd remember for a lifetime. _

He pushed Mikey backwards down the hall. Mikey kissed him fiercely. Leo knew he was about to do the wrong thing... but for once... just one damn time Leonardo wanted to do the wrong thing.

_Just this one time... the only time... _

_I'm sorry, Mikey._


End file.
